Rachel Roberts, Author at Legacy of Hope Foundation
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Author: Rachel Roberts

Who is Liliana? Liliana is a two and a half year old who is full of life and spunk! She loves to be a ballerina, but also loves to horseplay. She loves to be the baby when the kids are playing house and have her sister carry her around. She keeps me busy and well-snuggled. How did Liliana come to live at Legacy of Hope? Lili's biological mother is mentally-ill. She gave birth on a toilet in the public hospital and left her on the floor. Due to the unsanitary conditions of her birth, she had medical problems from the start. A couple hours after they released her to us she had a febrile seizure and had to return the the hospital. She was diagnosed with a septic infection and stayed a few more weeks in the hospital. She was released to us a second time and stayed with the Spangler family for...

“Look at me in my princess!” Brenda said as she gleefully twirled around to give the room a good look at her ballet uniform. Here, a princess dress is anything with a skirt, and the princesses were wearing them proudly. One by one, we lifted these six little ballerinas into the truck to head to their first day of ballet classes at the local bilingual school.  It was such a beneficial growing experience for them to be in a class setting in the community and outside of the familiarity of the ministry. For most of them, it was their first time being “dropped off” in a situation like that. They were scared and upset at the beginning, but within a couple weeks they were loving it and asking everyday if it was time to go to ballet. After a few months of weekly classes, the school put on a dance recital...

Foster care is the most simultaneously amazing and beautiful and agonizing and heart-breaking thing. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It’s caused far more heartbreak than I’ve ever known. Yet I wouldn’t take back a minute of it. My two babies have supposedly started the process of abandonment. This is good. This is a step towards adoption. This is what we want. But it brings me closer to the heart-breaking reality that our time is limited. One day when I was really struggling, I was talking to our director and she made what I feel is a very accurate comparison. Foster care is like having terminally ill children. No my children aren’t dying and I don’t mean to downplay how horrible it would be to have a terminally ill child, but I believe many of the feelings present are the same. You never know how much longer you have your child....

  The other day as one of my girls was having a visit with her bio mom, I was hit with another heart-breaking truth of foster care. I can never make it right. Even if one day I am fortunate enough to be able to adopt her, that doesn’t make her past and the brokenness of her situation go away. I will never be her bio mom. I like to think that blood doesn’t matter, that it’s all about the love, care, and presence given. But that’s not true. They both matter. I will never be able to share the same things and have the same connection with her as her bio mom. I can never change her past. She’s three years old and I struggle to explain to her how she has two moms. My heart breaks again as I think, “How will I explain to her that her mother didn’t want her? That...

    I’ve loved the song “Oceans” by Hillsong since the very first time I heard it. I’ve sung the song many times and always meant the words that I was singing, but it hit me on a much deeper level tonight. “Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders Let me walk upon the waters Wherever You would call me Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander And my faith will be made stronger In the presence of my Savior” I sang these words tonight with a little girl on my hip. A little girl who just yesterday had a visit with biological relatives that they plan to reintegrate her with, potentially in the very near future. A little girl whom I love as my very own, whom I can’t imagine life without, and who can’t imagine life without me. And another little girl holding my hand, who is in the process of being declared...

As you probably know, I am over the transition house here at Legacy of Hope. The Transition House was originally given this name because it was intended to be a short transition home from a newborn’s abandonment or removal from biological family into a long-term foster or adoptive family. However at this point in time our hopes are not being realized or seen. It was recently announced by DINAF that the foster care program is being shut down nationwide. We hope and pray that is is short-term; but we really don’t know if it will be weeks, months, or years. And adoptions are simply not happening. Our motto and hope Legacy of Hope is “A safe and loving family for every child”. Right now it is difficult to even know how to work towards this goal. However, this is not a post about the flawed systems, my frustrations, and how difficult and scary...

Sorry it has been so long since my last post. I really had intention to blog frequently. However, I have found that most of the events and stories that I want to share are better said in private emails than a public blog. So if you really want to be kept in the loop it is best to join my email list. But here is an update on some on the things that have been going on. Things have been busy busy busy as always. Liliana’s grandmother has visited once more (a total of three times now). Lili is very likely to be reintegrated with her, but I have no idea what the time line will be. Please pray for Liliana. I hate so much to realize that she will be leaving but we need to do everything we can to make this as smooth of a transition as possible for her....

As you may or may not know, the vision of the transition house is to accept newborns abandoned at the hospital or elsewhere until they find a forever home. However, Liliana was the last newborn we received and she will be one-year-old on April 2nd. At first I thought, “Maybe this is good. Maybe people aren’t abandoning their babies here.” Then we found out that DINAF is sending all the newborns in the state to Hogar San Jose. Hogar San Jose is a large, overcrowded, under-staffed, institution-style orphanage. The newborns lay in their cribs 24 hours a day. Their bottles are propped. They rarely receive human contact or interaction. We found out that DINAF is sending the newborns there through a friend who went to visit the orphanage. At that time they had three newborns. One narrowly survived suffocation by its mother. One weighed THREE pounds. I don’t know how or why this...

Hosanna turned two yesterday and we had a great party to celebrate this sweet girl! I am so blessed to have her in my life. She always wants to help and take care of the babies. She always makes me laugh with the funny things she says and does. She talks non-stop now. She gives lots of sweet hugs and I can’t imagine life without her! Here are some pictures from the day… ...